Verywell Loved: Unpacking What Is—and Isn't—Narcissism in a Relationship

In "Verywell Loved: Unpacking What Is—and Isn't—Narcissism in a Relationship," Kate Nelson explores the complex nature of narcissism in relationships, emphasizing the importance of understanding true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) versus common but unhealthy behaviors. Narcissism in relationships often manifests through manipulative tactics like "love-bombing" (lavish attention in early stages to hook the partner), but this phase quickly fades, revealing controlling, self-centered, and often cruel behaviors. People with NPD struggle with empathy and maintain a fragile sense of self by seeking validation from others, often at the expense of their partners' mental health. Common red flags include hypersensitivity to criticism, fluctuating self-esteem, superficial intimacy, and objectifying others.

Nelson highlights the distinction between pathological and healthy narcissism, noting that healthy self-regard and confidence in relationships foster positive self-identity. Pathological narcissism, however, involves using others to sustain self-worth, which can lead to harm and control. Recognizing these differences can help individuals avoid toxic relationships while understanding that having a strong sense of self isn't inherently narcissistic.

Kate Nelson manages and curates all relationship content on Verywell Mind.