The Frustrating Double Standards of Narcissists

In his article for Psychology Today, Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., MFT, explores the paradoxical and frustrating double standards that characterize narcissistic behavior. Neuharth highlights how narcissists display grandiosity yet are fragile, demand attention while ignoring others, and expect loyalty despite betraying those around them. These contradictions, such as projecting confidence while harboring deep insecurity, leave those around narcissists feeling confused and demeaned. The article emphasizes that recognizing these patterns can help individuals manage their interactions with narcissists more effectively.

Neuharth details eight core double standards, including narcissists’ tendency to blame others while refusing to acknowledge their own faults, and their capacity to be charming in public yet abusive in private. This disparity creates unique challenges for those in close relationships with narcissists. The article underscores the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing that dealing with narcissists comes at a cost—one that individuals have the power to choose. Neuharth’s insights provide a practical framework for protecting oneself from the emotional toll of narcissistic relationships.