Narcissistic Enablers: How to Recognize & Deal With One

Hailey Shafir’s article on narcissistic enablers provides a comprehensive exploration of the behaviors, dynamics, and consequences of individuals who protect and support narcissists. The author explains that enablers often play various roles—such as defenders, cheerleaders, and damage control agents—to shield narcissists from accountability and bolster their sense of superiority. Shafir identifies ten key traits of narcissistic enablers, including their tendency to prioritize the narcissist’s needs over their own, adopt manipulative tactics like gaslighting, and operate under the narcissist’s distorted reality. These individuals often remain loyal due to fear, love, or dependence, creating a toxic dynamic that perpetuates the narcissist’s destructive behaviors while trapping the enabler in a cycle of submission and self-sacrifice.

The article also delves into the psychological factors that make someone susceptible to becoming a narcissistic enabler. Traits such as low self-esteem, codependency, unresolved trauma, and a fear of abandonment are highlighted as common vulnerabilities narcissists exploit. Shafir emphasizes the enabler’s struggle to break free due to fear, emotional manipulation, or trauma bonds, likening their relationship to addiction. Practical advice is offered for dealing with enablers, such as setting boundaries, limiting interactions, and refusing to act as a mediator. Shafir’s insights underscore the complexity of these relationships and provide readers with strategies to protect themselves from being drawn into enabling dynamics, making the article a valuable resource for those navigating toxic environments.